18 months of internet dating….

So there I was, January 2016.  It had been a couple of months since my marriage broke down and, being one to always keep looking forward in life, I stepped into the cross fire world of internet dating.  18 months on, where did it get me?

Initially, some of my friends advised me to stay away from the mine field that is finding love online.  However, being the optimist, I ignored their warnings and dived head first into the ocean of like minded woman looking for that someone special.  One dear friend had advised me that my lack of financial security, lack of mortgage and refusal to drive would put most girls off from the outset.  Another friend kindly suggested that I was a little too weird for Australian woman to comprehend on any reasonable level whilst a handful said I would need to drop 10 kg’s and get some six pack action going on to be successful on Tinder, Plenty of Fish and the other sites I tried my luck at.

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Illustrative of couple representing online dating

The uncharted waters were intriguing at first.  So many interesting people out there in the online world.  Many seemed keen to chat and swap stories on life and lost loves.  As the days began to role into weeks and months, I found more and more woman were only interested in chatting through the mercurial screens of their smart phones.  OK, i’m not a total bell end here.  Of course there are guys who pull the same attention seeking tricks and yes, there are nice people out there but a great majority of the people I stumbled over were, it seemed addicted to being told how “amazing”, “stunning” and “beautiful” they were by men they had never met.  So much attention coming their way on a daily basis!  How could a girl refuse?  The downside to this ego boosting exercises were that men, for the best part are all the same.  We tell woman what they want to hear to reel them in, chew them up and then spit them out.  Many will try to argue against this theory but I even fell into the trap myself because it became incredibly easy to throw enough compliments towards a girl and entice her out from behind the safety of a smart phone screen.  It’s an art form really.  And it takes little to no time to master.

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Fast forward a few months and I had met my fair share of interesting woman.  Many it seemed, had come from abusive relationships and were quite rightly somewhat wary of men.  Having worked in domestic violence wards, i’d seen first hand the damage that can be done.  It’s not pretty.  Now, I found myself meeting what seemed a stream of damaged woman who had been either emotionally, mentally or worse still, physically abused by their previous partners.  Some had a track record of attracting these kinds of guys.  Almost all of the girls I met who sailed in this boat appeared to still be in need of time on their own to rediscover themselves.  It’s a sad indicative of this nation that we still have so many woman who are affected by domestic violence.

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There was a lot of sex on tap as I was to find out.  Sometimes, you would begin chatting to someone at 9 pm and by 11 pm you were in their bed or vice versa exchanging bodily fluids at an alarming rate.  Some even seemed happy to go bare back and not use protection.  A few even wanted to phone up some friends and have some group activities on the same night.  I’d go on to meet so many different shades of woman.  At the other end of the scale were the girls who needed what seemed like weeks or months to pluck up the dutch courage to meet up just for a cup or tea and cake.  “I need to get to know you more” many would suggest.  Meanwhile, six weeks later after a subsequent barrage of “Hi, how was your day?” messages, i’d often cut the prospective date free.  Harsh?  Perhaps?  But why let the world pass you by?  Get out there and get into life is my motto.  Too many people play it safe in life, sitting back and waiting for things to happen instead of making the most of every opportunity.

I’ve come to the conclusion that internet dating just isn’t my cup of tea.  It’s a world of shallow, narsassitic time wasters who always seem to be wondering how green the grass is on the other side.  Sadly, they forget that the grass is green where you water it the most. Instead of giving 5 or 10% of your time to the wrong people, give 100% of your time to the right person.  After all, there are only so many times a complete stranger can call you “beautiful” before it starts to wear thin? Or does it?

Either way, each to their own and in the meantime, I am going to wait for that chance encounter with a random stranger that leads to something more……

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