Let me take you back to a time without smart phones, dating apps and selfie sticks. To do this, we have to go all the way back to the late 90’s and early 00’s. I was still quite young but I had three (almost) fool proof ways to win a girl over. The occassion would be dinner at my place and with the following three steps, I almost always got a follow up date and then some.
Food, wine & conversation!
Yep, it was that easy and not always in that order. Sometimes, it’s better to just simplify the process of getting to know someone.
This afternoon, I found myself sifting over some old vinyl LP’s in my collection and what else should pop up but a cheeky compilation called “Continental Jazz” and boy did it serve me well back in the day. It was always the first record playing on my turntable when my date would arrive. I’d also have some Wilde and Kerouac novels strategically placed around the lounge and dining rooms. Three bottles of wine on the chill and a nice meal almost at the ready. Oh, the back up vinyl would be from The Beatles, Bob Dylan and Blondie pending the mood at the time.
The conversation was often the secret to unlocking a productive evening of company. First cab off the rank shall we say? That’s where the scattered literature would come into play. Girls enjoy an educated man who can hold his own. What’s more, you can never go too wrong by complimenting a girls shoes or hair upon entry. Always just the one mind. And make it subtle. Once inside the door, get that jazz music on, pour that glass of wine, take a seat and chat away. Have a slightly salty entreat on hand too. It encourages further wine consumption which relaxes the runway for more conversation. This is usually where she would pick up Kerouac’s “On The Road” and start asking questions about it. That book leads to endless entry points to all sorts of topics. Travel, spirituality, living life outside the comfort zone and so much more.
With two glasses of wine put away, that jazz music working its charm, its time to head to the dining room for the main course. Here is where the already flickering candles take effect as you lower the lights and soften the mood. It’s also why every man should learn how to cook. I owe my mum big time for those Saturday afternoons in the kitchen when I was a little boy. Now, you shouldn’t expect to be on a par with the Jamie Oliver’s of this world but knowing how to cook, and a good meal (my choice was often a mild spice laden dish) at that will lead you in good steer.
Before you know it, that third bottle of wine is on its way down and you have most likely enjoyed a pleasant evening. You’ve paved the foundations to something more and given her some great water cooler conversation at work the next day. Whatever you do, don’t force your hand for sex. Be gentle and kind. No girl wants to think she is just an object so be respectful. A good tip? Watch some porn earlier in the evening so all that frustration is well and truly out of your system.
Back in the day, I’d have a spare $20 note to hand over for the taxi and after walking her out with a polite kiss on the cheek (sometimes a little more), the night would be at its conclusion and you’d be looking forward to the next date. It worked wonders back in the day and I wonder why more people don’t take this route as much in 2017? And it sure as hell beat meeting up with randoms off Tinder. Oh yeah, I used to meet girls on buses, trains, parties, clubs, record stores and book shops back then. It seemed a whole lot easier back in 1998 doing it that way.