Sex, Food & The Hostel Lifestyle

One of the ways to keep your travel costs to a minimum is by staying in hostels around the world.  OK, sometimes I might splurge on a hotel to give myself some privacy but hotels cost a bomb when you are travelling as much as I do and I’m not rich in the financial sense.  Hotels can also be hit and miss, more often a hit for the hip pocket I must say.


Recently, whilst staying in London, I found myself on the third stack of a bunk bed.  Years ago, it would not have been a problem however, these days it can be a bit of a struggle to get up and down due to my body getting slower.  Hell, I’m only verging on 40 so why is it a problem for my little old bones?  How many 40 year old do you see in hostels?  Not many and there is a reason why.


Sex is a glorious thing.  It’s my favourite hobby (when I can actually get it) but when was the last time you heard a 19 year old boy trying to get it up after a boozy night out with his new erm, “friend”?  Sex whilst drunk can be tricky.  But trolleyed sex on a squeaky old single bed in a hostel?  And in a busy room?  Well, there was this one time with a Dutch girl in Liverpool.  Before I knew it, the other two guys in the room, German I think from memory joined in.  But that’s for another blog entry.  Maybe?

Anyway, what I am trying to explain is that sex in hostel dorms is normally a daft idea.  And nobody really wants to hear it when they are not getting it.


A great idea is to always read hostel reviews.  You may think you have got a great deal but often there is a valid reason why that bed is only £5 for the night.  Once such occasion in Europe, I got myself what I thought was a bargain.  Turns out my dorm room had 20 beds in it and was a male only dorm to boot!  Imagine the smell and sounds with 20 grubby travelling blokes?  Yeah, you get the picture.

On the plus side, my current room in Barcelona is delicious on many levels.  It’s clean, spacious, has lockers, very comfy beds, a clothes drying rack for towels, a couch and a table to munch my food from.  All for 23 Euro’s a night too!  Perfect.  Well, the noise from the main road is a bit of a let down hence me writing this entry at 3;47 am!  If only I had remembered the ear plugs right?


Anothef huge plus of hostels is the ability to buy your own food and store it in a fridge.  When living the hotel lifestyle you can eat out or order room service.  Both options can get very expensive.  On the flip side to this, there is sometimes a bell end who will have the audacity to eat the last of your cheese or drink your milk just when you need it most.  Fuckers!

Will I still be staying in hostels when I am 60? I doubt it but as they say, you never quite know?



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