Part of the modern world that is internet dating has been the influx of the masses to its world. I remember the first time I tried it out some 12 years ago, to admit your indulgence to anyone aside from your nearest and dearest was akin to social suicide. It truly was a massive no go zone for almost everyone. Or so they would have you believe. The problem was back then, like it is with all new groundbreaking movements is that people are afraid to give new things a try. It’s human nature of course but who would want to be known for doing something that just wasn’t popular?
Fast forward to 2017 and you will find just about every man, woman and well, all of those beautiful people in between are on some sort of dating app. We’ve all swiped through Tinder and seen our friends and work colleagues pop up. Hell, even family members and flat mates appear sometimes! So yeah, everyone’s at it. Litterally. What’s changed more than anything else in recent times are the expectations. Not too long ago you could write a heartfelt profile or bio allowing potential partners to see a little deeper into who you were as a human being. Right? There is just one small problem that has cropped up for us blokes in particular. It’s the dreaded shredded brigade.
You know the types yeah? Profile photo of him minus his shirt and well, sometimes minus almost everything! These guys rightfully I guess have no shame in showing what 30 hours a week at the gym can do for oneself. Or, if you are like many guys on the market today, 12 hours a week at the gym and a pile of steroids. Either way, they provide the ladies on the dating app’s little to no choice but to swipe right. As an experiment a few weeks ago, I decided to change my profile photo on Tinder to a shirtless man showing off all his wares. As if by some form of black magic, I went from have a couple of matches every few days to almost 60 a day!
Every single girl I swiped it seemed was already a match. It was swiftly followed by a series of messages telling me how wonderful, sensitive, interesting, thoughtful, witty, charming and/or sweet I was. I had girls willing to cancel previously arranged dates just so they could meet up with who they thought was me. The funny thing was, I left my other photos up so all they had to do was sift through the rest of my pics to be made fully aware that I was taking the piss out of them. The occasional switched on girl would, and call me out for my cheeky streak however, most of them didn’t pick up on it. In fact, plenty were happy to come over and watch Netflix with Mr Muscles without actually formally meeting before hand. Scary right?
After a couple of weeks it all got a bit much with the endless messages from my matches so I reverted back to my old photo and rapidly watched the attention dry up. People were now “busy” or “sick” or they “had something come up” when advising why they were unable to meet up after previously being so very keen. Some, rightfully so I guess gave me a serve for “leading them on” however, I did leave plenty of clues ie: photos of myself and my bio that included a love of Oscar Wilde and Morrissey to mull over. After all, how many muscular gym junkies do you know that can happily dissect A Portrait of Dorian Grey over a cup of English Breakfast?
So what on earth did I learn from my experience from two weeks with a fake profile picture? Well, firstly, and despite protests against this view, most woman will still swipe a shirtless man over an average fella like myself any day of the week. It’s no difference to the guys who swipe large breasted barbie dolls in a bikini over the girl next door in glasses. Woman will also happily fuck a shirtless man in a heartbeat despite telling you in their profile that they don’t want a FWB’s, casual sex or a one night stand. You profile blurb for the best part, means sweet fuck all. You can pour out something akin to Tolstoy’s “War & Peace” though, without a six pack, it is highly unlikely it will get you much further than the “I think you are are nice guy” line.
To all the men out there with six packs and amazing bodies, on behalf of the average Jo’s out there, I offer you my most sincere fuck you! In the nicest possible way of course. To the shallow and narcissistic woman out there who say looks aren’t everything but still only swipe the shirtless men? Remember this. When the physical attraction wears thin and you are left with a hollow shell of a man unable to string together a half decent conversation think of all those nice guys you passed up because they didn’t have the perfect body that you seem to assume makes the man.
For all the kind and decent boys and girls out there looking to meet that special someone? Amid the doom and gloom of hollow souls interested only in the visual side, don’t lose faith my friends, there truly is someone out there who will love you for who you are through thick and thin along with everything in between.
Until next time…..