The Top 5 Jobs I Never Had…..

So I got the sack last week as some of you may know.  Over the past eleven days of deep thought I have been procrastinating about where I want to go next and what line of work I would like to move into.  Do I stay in the same field I have known for the preceding 6 years?  Do I move into a new direction and try something new?  Or, do I go back to an old profession that worked for me in the past?

Earlier this morning I was pondering the types of employment I perhaps would have enjoyed in a by-gone era.  So here they are folks.  The top 5 jobs that would have left me happy in another era.

1: Sound Engineer – Madison Square Garden between 1974 & 1980

Yep, imagine that.  Pitched up behind a soundboard at perhaps one of the greatest live concert and entertainment venues that America has provided us with.  During the mid to late 70’s I would have been at the helm for concerts by The Rolling Stones, John Lennon, The Who, Elton John, David Bowie, Bob Dylan, Queen, Bob Marley and many more.

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Bob Marley live at MSG in 1978

This would have been something else indeed.  A time when concerts were not yet the overpriced entertainment “events” that they seem to be in the new millenium. And, to have been the man behind the mixing desk during this period when music continued to breach many boundaries?  Well, that in itself would have been one of the greatest gigs going!

2:  United Nations Interpreter 1981-1989

From a young age I have always taken a special interest in politics.  During the 1980’s America spiraled into a world of corporate corruption whilst the cold war ended which led to the fall of the Berlin Wall, perhaps the greatest moment of the decade.  Despite the Cold War ending in 1991 it was during the 1980’s that great inroads were made to set the West and the East on a more stable pathway together.

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Soviet president Leonid Brezhnev locks lips with GDR leader Erich Honecker in perhaps the most prominent image adorning the Berlin Wall.

Britain had begun the decade with endless workers strikes as the conservative government, led by the disdainful Margaret Thatcher set the great divide between the haves and the have nots.  In 1982 the Thatcher government begun and quickly ended the Falklands War with Argentina.  All of this was over two small patches of land that, for some reason nobody was really sure of, Thatcher decided was in Britains best interests to keep under the reign of the Union Jack.  Thatcher won the ten week war and was re-elected a year later on the back of the positive publicity this shameful war provided her.

Throughout the decade, and with countless conflicts happening the world over, one of the more interesting jobs to take up would have been that of an interpreter at the United Nations.  I highly doubt there ever would have been a dull moment with so much going on the world over during the decade.

3:  PR for Rough Trade Records 1978-1985

Just imagine being part of the heart beat that was the punk and new wave movement in and around London and Manchester during the early days of Rough Trade Records?  What’s more, imagine being there from 1983 through to 1987 when The Smiths, Englands greatest band post The Beatles were the driving force behind the label!  

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The music world was most thankful that Manchester delivered The Smiths to us all in 1983

Morrissey alone would have been enough for me to be one of the PR team at Rough Trade.  The Smiths single handedly re-designed the British music landscape at a time when the likes of Bowie, The Stones and The Who were all falling on tough creative periods whilst many of the new British bands at the time (The Cure aside) were struggling to provided a stale industry with anything new and decisive.  No band has since been able to influence youth culture in the same way and it is likely that no British band, despite the best efforts of Oasis ever will.

4:  Ground Announcer – Anfield 1971-1990

You are George Sephton.  It’s 1971 and you have just been handed the job of ground announcer at Anfield.  Over the following 19 years you will experience countless league titles and domestic cup successes.  What’s more you will not only enjoy the epic journeys over four victorious European Cup campaigns you shall be in a prime seat to watch endless streams of players ply their trade on the turf at England’s most decorated football club.

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George Sephton has now enjoyed 43 years on the gantry at Anfield!

That’s it ladies and gents.  A job I would have given my right arm for.  Another plus of this job would have been spinning the latest tunes before the players took to the field on match days.  

5:  Journalist for Rolling Stone magazine 1975-1978

It’s not much to ask for is it?  Just a few short years being able to interview the game changers leading up to and including the punk era of the mid 1970’s.  Just imagine sitting down with Sid Vicious and trying to make rhyme or reason of his rambling?  Better still, post Roxy Music Brian Eno on why he decided to head to Berlin and work with Bowie and Iggy Pop.  At the other end of the scale there would have been the likes of Peter Frampton, a man known predominantly for his “Frampton Comes Alive” LP, released in 1976 and still the most successful live album release to hit record stores.

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When Rolling Stone magazine mattered it was promoting political pioneers such as Harvey Milk.

Rolling Stone of today is by and large a load of horse shit.  The magazine is more about street cred and pimping out Beyonce in hope that we will actually think she is a valid recording artist.  However, if you head back to the mid 1970’s, a time when great political and social upheaval were ever present the magazine had its fingers right on the pulse of America and the people who were changing it.

So there you have it!  Maybe on another day I would have listed five different jobs that tickled my fancy.  Today however, these re five brilliant jobs I would have loved to have embraced.

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