Dating perils and why you need to follow these guidelines…..

So the time has come.  He has asked you out on a date and that day is drawing near.  It’s time you followed a few simple rules to make the night one to remember for the right reasons.  I have a few cheeky rules for the girls and then some points of order for the guys.  It’s all tongue in cheek but let’s face it, we’ve all been confronted with some of the experiences you will read about below.

FOR THE GIRLS……

1 – FIRST IMPRESSIONS COUNT:  Studies have shown that you will make your biggest impression within 60 seconds of meeting someone.  Arrive well dressed, confident and on time.  Shabby clothes and turning up 15 minutes late will have you on the back foot from the start.

2 – THE SMELL OF SUCCESS:  I’ve always been a fan of girls who know how to wear a fragrance well.  Get away from the commercial offerings and go in search of three or four scents that have their own unique style and will have him curious as to what you are wearing.

3 – KEEP THAT FIRST DATE SIMPLE:  Everybody is different and despite the fact he may love go cart racing it won’t necessarily mean that you will too.  So if your potential man of desire wants to go crazy give him a subtle nudge towards coffee in a funky cafe or perhaps something stronger in a bar.  If the booze is on the cards keep it to two drinks and no more.  We have potential to do crazy things and give a bad impression when under the influence.

4 – ENJOY IT WHILST IT LAST:  There is a good chance he will fire compliments your way (if he is a gentleman of course) so don’t be too shy when one or two flattering comments are sent in your direction.  After all, every girl loves to know that her man appreciates that new hair style or those shows you spent all day looking for.

5 – FRONT AND CENTRE:  Making eye contact, and then holding it for short periods is a sign of strength.  Show you’re a confident woman and that you won’t be prepared to take his inevitable bullshit lines down the track.  Show him who is boss from word go.  If he feels threatened by this than rest assured he is not the man for you.

6 – NO FOOD TONIGHT MY DEAR:  Never go out for dinner on a first date.  There is nothing worse than realising that the menu isn’t your cup of tea or finding you spent half the night with food in your teeth.  If you do take the dinner risk keep it simple and tuck a tooth pick into your handbag.

7 – PLANNING AHEAD WILL SCARE HIM AWAY:  Let’s face it girls.  Men really are simple creatures. And using their brains (no, not the one between their legs) is a difficult assignment at the best of times.  He may seem like your prince charming but don’t let on to your feelings too soon.  Exceptions can of course be made for a more cultured gent, of which there are few available in Australia.

8- KEEP HIM WAITING:  Most men assume paying for dinner will guarantee them a good time finish to the night.  Offer up to go Dutch and pay half the bill.  If he insists on still paying accept his kind offer but make sure you have your exit strategy in place should he ask you home or invite himself in.

9 – PUT THEM AWAY:  One aspect of dating that has always baffled me is the inability for woman to hide their assets on a first date.  Letting your breasts out for a public exhibition leads most men to think you are after a fling or in some cases, that you have no self respect.  Put them away for another time…..unless of course you don’t wan’t there to be another time?

10 – PREPARATION, PREPARATION, PREPARATION:  Come up with a mental list of questions you may want to ask should things go quiet.  We all know men struggle to hold a good conversation when it doesn’t relate to fishing, sport, cars or body building so try and nut out a few simple questions relating to where he grew up or which school he attended.

AND WE SHANT FORGET THE BOYS NOW…….

1 – FORGET ABOUT YOUR BODY:  OK guys, at the end of the day no decent girl gives a hoot about your six pack, massive arms or southern cross tattoo.  Wear a shirt that covers all this up and let her find out about it later on.  Have a shave, wear a nice fragrance and make sure you have other hobbies outside of the gym to talk about.  Ahh yes, before I forget…..polish your shoes!

2 – GET A HEADS UP:  You may think that green shirt is a winner with the ladies but trust me, invest in some fashion feedback from your female friends who have a bit of style.  It might even mean heading out for a day of shopping to sort your wardrobe out but in the long term you will be on a winner if you manage to get your threads sorted.

3 – DON’T BLOW IT UP:  When you talk about yourself don’t fall into the trap of talking up that road trip into something it wasn’t.  Girls don’t appreciate men who exaggerate their adventures to make themselves seem more appealing.  Be honest from the get go and chances are she will respect you far more for it.

4 – CAN I TAKE YOUR COAT?:  Manners, manners, manners gentlemen!  You may have lost them in high school but go and dig them up.  It’s all about the respect for the lady in your company.  Treat her well and most of all don’t drop foul language around her.  Keep the C-Bomb on the worksite where it belongs.

5 – WHO CARES WHO YOU FOLLOW?:  A question that all men should avoid, unless prompted is which team do you follow?  Most women don’t really care about sport so along with your foul language leave that one on the work site too!

6 – STEP OUTSIDE THE SQUARE:  If you are going to the same cafe or restaurant for your dates then it’s time to mix things up.  Research and seek out some quirky places to meet girls.  Somewhere that has a splash of panache.  She will love you for it and no doubt tell her friends about the beautiful place she was taken to the night before.

7 – LET IT RING AND BEEP ALL NIGHT:  There is nothing more rude than getting your phone out during a date to talk to your mates, respond to meaningless text messages or update your FB status to tell everyone about the fit bird sitting opposite you.  Go on boys, put those pesky phones away, in fact, turn the bloody thing off and pay attention to your girl.

8 – ONE AT A TIME:  You may have taken a shine to the waitress or the girl on table 3 but remember one thing.  Woman are brilliant at working you out and they will know straight away when your eyes wonder.  I have a friend who once netted the number of a bar girl whilst on a date with another.  Poor form I do say!

9 – PAPER ALL THE WAY:  It may well be a fantastic idea to clear the coins from your pocket but for now at least, stick to notes.  There is something not quite right about a man scratching about for those extra few coins when there is a fresh note sitting untouched in his wallet.

10 – HOLD THOSE THOUGHTS FOR NOW YOUNG MAN:  As much as you would love to reach in for a kiss hold it back gents.  Keep her wondering what your lips will feel like when resting upon hers. Ending the date with a touch of mystery will only heighten her desire to see you again.  Chances are you will be the talk of the office on Monday morning so make sure the talk will be good.

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